No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

This quote has been rattling around in my brain for quite a while. And yes I first heard when I saw Princess Diaries. And yes that movie is awesome.

I’ve been pretty hard on myself for not securing a full-time job before graduation. It seems that everywhere I go, and especially on Twitter and Facebook, people are going on second interviews and getting a job. Just today I ran into a friend who is graduating as well with a marketing degree. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Oh hey girl what’s up? Excited about graduating?”

Friend: “Oh nothing much. Ya I’m so ready. What are you doing after graduation?”

Me: “Oh ya know I’m going to stay here for the summer, possibly have an internship, look for a job. We’ll see.”

Friend: “Cool! Well ya seems like everyone is looking for a job ya know. I’ve been looking all semester and I just got one Tuesday!”

Me: “Ohhh cool! Congrats!” (but really I’m thinking, “What? YOU got a job? Are you kidding me? Thanks for making me feel like crap. Please go away now.)

Nothing against this friend. She’s cool. I’m obviously just jealous.

So it seems that moments like these are adding to my low self-esteem in the job hunting area. This is a problem I know. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I got my degree in four years, kept my scholarship and managed to not have any run-ins with the law. I should be beaming with pride. But I’m not. I feel pretty lousy. It’s not that I don’t want to be happy for all these employed people. Really, it’s great. Good for them. But what about me?

I have tried, I’ve put myself out there but probably not as much as I should or I could. I’ve got a few options, yes, but nothing permanent. I know I need to drop the negativity or I’m never going to get positive results. If I start going to interviews in the future already doubting myself, a potential employer may sense that and not want to hear about me. Yikes.

So here’s my challenge for the next week: don’t let anyone’s successes make me feel like a failure. Keep trying. Don’t give up! I know I sound like my dad right now, but it’s true. I think it’s the only way I’ll find what’s right for me.

Coming up:

My last college class ever is tomorrow. I’m pretty sure I should inform my professor so that everyone will celebrate with me.

Finals. Good thing I only have one.

Monday afternoon I have a meeting about a “program” I’m doing over the summer at a place where I’ve spent a lot of time volunteering over the past few years. I’ll be working with their Communications/Media staff member but should know more about I’ll be doing at this meeting.